Fatal Inertia review (X360)

No chance of Wipeout on X360, so maybe this will do instead?

Sometimes I think the world of games really isn't as good as it used to be, back when we had more genres than just another "hey it's GTA, but on a boat" and the like. Take for example the space shooter, it's dead, it's gone. If there was someone remotely sensible holding the rudder at LucasArts we'd all be on Xbox Live right now re-enacting the Battle of Yavin in our X-Wings and Tie-Fighters in 64 player battles.

Instead so many genres have been left by the wayside, including the futuristic racer. Wipeout has some blame here, the first PlayStation 2 game being such a stinker. Sony could make me pledge my undying fanboi love by just giving me a HD version of Wipeout 2097. Oh and what I wouldn't give for a new version of Rollcage.

Instead it seems that, while we wait aeons for the next Wipeout, we'll have to make do with Fatal Inertia. Which is a shame, as it's crap.

Donkey Capers

Oh not mind-buggeringly awful in a Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness kind of way, but the kind of crap that makes you think – this game should have been so much better. But let's take a look at the game's good points before we talk about what's wrong with it.

The first thing that's good is that it is a futuristic racer, not enough of those around. But there's not much donkey Hentai around either and so Donkey Capers 4 isn't going to get an automatic ten out of ten.

There's something thrilling about hover racing, from F-Zero to Wipeout the pleasure has been in zipping around exotic locals only loosely bound by gravity.

Too Tough

The gameplay on offer is split up into several leagues each with more demanding AI, courses, weaponry and game modes. Most races are of the usual race and shoot variety and are pleasing enough. Then there are simple knockouts and the rather fun events where you get to play with the magnetic weaponry.

Perhaps Fatal Inertia's best feature is the weaponry on offer. Being able to plonk a magnetic bomb to an enemy or tie him to the nearest mountain via a bungee chord are all great fun. It's such a shame then that Fatal Intertia requires a level of accuracy from the player that is totally unreasonable given everything else that's happening in the race.

Much of your success in using these weapons will come down to luck rather than skill and it makes for a frustrating experience. Not as frustrating as the AI though – which becomes too tough all too quickly and turns a slightly frustrating game into one that'll have you kicking the Xbox 360 into next week. This is one of those games that will let you race brilliantly for four laps and just because you have a slight bump on the final corner will let the AI vehicles all come blasting past. The gits.

Better With Wheels

This is a pretty inevitable and common occurrence due to the extremely floaty handling of the game. I admit I like my futuristic racing to take place on some chiselled turnpike made of platinum and laid down with mirror surface precision – that prevents your hovercraft from running straight into rocks at high speed.

Not so the philosophy of Fatal Inertia which states that anti-grav hovercraft should handle in such a sensitive and wobbling manner that you can quickly become disorientated or crash into some bump in the ground that will send you spinning and due to the harsh AI – losing the race.

The tracks themselves are mostly to blame here, undulating rocky scenery is hardly the best place for racing.

Shame

And quite an uninspired sets of tracks they are too. Many are just really ovals with a few kinks to make you think they are more interesting. But when the camera pans out at the end of the race you're treated to some pretty poor image tearing and the truth that you've just been racing around in circles at the bottom of the mountain.

Despite the lust scenery you see in these screenshots the game in reality isn't that much to look at once you start playing. Sure this might be Unreal Engine 3, but the game feels like an amble around some rejected maps from Halo 2 – without the smooth and pleasant vehicle control of that first-person shooter.

That's one of the main problems with Fatal Inertia, it feels like a half-baked mod to Unreal Tournament rather than a proper game in its own right. I'd really been looking forward to this game – a game that has long been a poster-child for the power of PS3 but ultimately has resulted in a poor multi-format release that doesn't play, look or sound good.