Iridium Runners review (PS2)

No one ever seems to think about the drivers in racing games. They pale in comparison to the hunks of metal that envelop them; a comfortable, leathery tomb; propelling them to break-neck speeds for hours on end at the hands of some unemployed lay-about with nothing to do all day. It's tragic. Apparently, though, once the sweaty clutch has relinquished, they all band together to run around WipeOut-esque tracks in spandex outfits with floating machines above their heads. Oh the gift of liberty.

Fancy a walk?

At least that's my impression. I mean, who else would be so desperate to enjoy futuristic races, complete with booster pads, power-ups and weapons, but all without vehicles? Sometimes you've got to vacate the technology and put to use the limbs that God gave you. When they say 'Runners', they don't mean, like, people absconding from the law; fugitives, or those little bar things that allow your desk draws to glide in and out smoothly, no. They actually mean people that run places. Runners. What will they think of next?

Nah, I'll drive, thanks.

There's no doubting Iridium Runners is a racing game – all the usual boxes are ticked like varying tracks, varying players with varying stats and tournaments, but it just feels... obsolete, for lack of a better word. I commend Playstos Entertainment for the ambitious attempt at taking the hundred meter sprint to the next level, but amidst racing games like WipeOut, Burnout and Race07 - where the thrills come about through taming a mechanical beast – Iridium Runners is just a stylized High School sports day, and I'm fairly certain no one in the world enjoys those.

You sure?

In all fairness, for a racing game involving the physical act of running, it's quite competent and enjoyable, but that's at a very basic level. The process of character and track selection is arbitrary in all respects, and although this limits the game in terms of depth, it's supportive of the pick-up-and-play ethic that the game flaunts so well.

Once you're on the track, your first and most predominant target is collecting the gems of Iridium strewn about each course. Oddly, winning the race is initially a secondary aim since Iridium is the only means of consistently out-running your opponents through its speed-boosting abilities. Of course, you also have the option of slowing them down with power-ups like rockets, miniaturization and energy walls, but I found the only reliable method was to get jacked up on Iridium and mash X until I was first.

Yeah, I prefer to go fast.

Well, that worked most of the time. Besides depth, Iridium Runners' major downfall is the control system coupled with the weight of the characters. Paying attention to your character selection stats can help a little, but I consistently had trouble with taking corners at speed – and who wants to slow down in a non-simulation racing game?!

Whatever

Graphically, well, don't prepare yourself for anything jaw-dropping because you'd be sorely disappointed, but don't completely give up hope either. The game runs at a steady frame-rate and is wrapped in an appealing hyper-real cartoon style, but you won't be reaching for the break button to stop and admire the scenery since it's all blocky and neon-caked. Again, though, it's sufficient and doesn't detracted from what can be enjoyed.

Bye!

Sufficient sums up Iridium Runners quite succinctly. It's surprisingly entertaining, especially with four of your friends in multiplayer, but it's by-the-book in every way and you simply need more to be able to compete with today's higher profile offerings. It's a child's game no doubt – though I worry for them in the later levels – so it's hard to recommend to anyone above 15, but it's novel enough for a quick bash after the pub, and you've got to break up your GTA4 sessions somehow... No?